The One Man Yam

Episode: Synchronized Swimming (S2 E3)

Favorite Moment: Linda leading prenatal yoga streches in an empty swimming pool.

Favorite Quote: It was seriously so difficult to pick my favorite... as the episode is full of iconic lines... but I am going to go with:

"Don't feed a guy a sponge, Bobby, don't feed a guy a sponge!" - Teddy

This episode is so good! The kids decide to get out of PE by tricking Mr. Frond to let them start their own "independent study" and Bob tries to sell soft serve ice cream in the restaurant.

I hated gym. (I really am more of an indoor person. Unless it is cold out. Which is why I live in MN.) I used to cheat in PE. That's right you can cheat exercise. I used to cut across the gym instead of running (walking) the whole mile. I am super fit.

I want to put in 30 gifs (Grandma: that means a moving picture... like the one above) of my favorite moments from the episode. Bob feeding Teddy a sponge, Linda and Mr. Frond bonding over knitting, Tina flirting with the lifeguard, Louise naming "Jezebel."

I think the show really comes into its stride in the 3rd season, but these episodes in the first two seasons really do a lot to establish the characters.

Did you know that only one member of the Belcher family is voiced by a woman!? Yeah, Louise.

John Roberts was a YouTube star who got famous for pretending to be his mother. The producers of the show approached him to see if he would lend that voice to the matriarch of the family - Linda!

And comedian Dan Mintz was brought on to play "Daniel" but the writers thought it would be funnier if he lent his voice to possibly one of the most iconic characters in animation: Tina!

At this point you are probably saying to yourself "thats interesting and all, but where the hell are the pics of burgers and witty insights into Keenan's blunders?"

Look no further:

The One Man Yam is made with sauteed yams and candied bacon. It is one of the simpler burgers in the book... but man-o-man did I stuggle.

Its started off perfectly normal... you know, cooking burgers at 8:30pm on a Sunday.

I cut up the extra yams to make fries (more on that later) and prepped the bacon. You coat it in brown sugar and put it into the oven to bake.

Things were going along fine... just making my fries (which is the part that takes forever) and my timer goes off and I flip the bacon... so far looking great.

I am supposed to put it in for 15 minutes... and I think to myself better check it in 10. But did I check it in 10?Sure-as-hell didn't.

Ok, I know what you are thinking. Calm down, it looks great, it's not that bad... but I have good lighting and an I-phone. I can make a shit pile shine with depth effect. In person the bacon was black.

And I got so worked up trying to scrape it off of the pan that I forgot about the yams in the pan.

Now the four letter words are flying about in the smoke and steam that was filling up the condo, cause my peanut oil temperature was too high. I was two hot seconds away from having a full out Julie and Julia freakout... when I reminded myself (1.5hrs later when I had finished eating the burger and cleaning up the mess) that I am a grown man with kids and its time to calm the hell down.

The burger probably tasted ok. But I was too upset about the burnt bacon to enjoy it. But it made pretty good leftovers so... something must have been good.

Now for a brief discussion about yams.

Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing. But they are, or they are not. The internet cant make up it's mind.

Sweet Potatoes and yams are broad names that capture many tubers. So it is correct to say they are the same, and that they are different. Apperently "true" yams are more pink in color. But who cares?

Certainly not Target employees in St. Louis Park, MN.